It’s a little hard to be the ‘Pope to the Left’ when you’ve got all this photo evidence of a chum slick of morally dubious decisions.
He hosts the Oscars.
He’s an A-lister.
He’s richer than you, and not afraid to remind you of it.
And he knows how to treat women. Just ask him, he’ll tell you.
(Just don’t mention these pics. He might get grumpy. Or weepy.)
Here are Kimmel and Carolla holding a ‘Juggy Talent Show‘ — a show of ‘talent’ by the scantily-clad women on the Man Show:
In front of a wildly cheering mostly-male audience, they did such amazing shows of talent as ‘doing a thumbs up with her big toe’. Or ‘eating a banana in a single bite’, ‘splits all the way to the ground’, ‘telling the difference between a real person and a cartoon’, ‘I do the worm’, ‘I can lick the back of my leg’. The juggy twins were, shall we say, flexing their pecs one at a time. In bikinis.
They joked about the “Juggy Nicole”‘ and her banana act (Kimmel whispers) and Corolla says …it COULD be your penis! There was a joke about swallowing in there, too.
Kimmel joked with “Juggy Suzanne” when she said she ‘did the worm’… Ok. Let me get mine out and we’ll see it.
And then said her hoarse voice made it sound like she had a banana in her throat.
But the Man Show wasn’t all tasteless innuendo.
Their show was compassionate and covered important social issues. Like homelessness.
No, wait. It wasn’t homelessness.
What was it again?
Right. That’s it.
“Toplessness in America”
They even cited an expert from Gazonga University.
Now, Kimmel was saying something about our society’s shameful treatment of women, wasn’t he? Something about how other people demean them?
We’re not sure, but he’ll most likely cry about halfway through it. Maybe mention something about MeToo and insult someone who disagrees with him politically.
Because he IS the moral authority on the topic of treating women with respect.